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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 6


 
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Spacer Dear Guzzler: Let's say you've been into the suds and accidently take a tumble out of your cart. How do you best rebound from such a mishap?

A: The trick here is to stay conscious. When you hit the ground, quickly decide if there are any broken bones. If not, you're in luck. Roll several times in the direction of the pin, bounce up and shout: "Yee ha! I believe I'll try that again!"

Dear Guzzler: Which beer, to your knowledge, has the highest alcohol content, and what is it?

A: The guzzler has never pretended to be an expert on technical aspects of brewing, such as "alcohol content" or "decent taste." But here goes: To my knowledge, the brand with the highest alcohol content is any with the word "Ice" in it. Six of those on the front nine makes quadruple bogey a good score on the back side.

Dear Guzzler: Do first amendment rights apply to articles written by the Golf Guzzler? I have heard rumors that some of your comments have been censored by zealous right wingers. If this is true, how will you tolerate such actions?

Fellow Guzzler

A: There is no need for censorship, because the Guzz is politically correct in all things. I celebrate diversity by offending only middle-aged, heterosexual, physically unchallenged, developmentally able, employed, Christian white guys. As long as they are not really fat (except for Rush Limbaugh).


 
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