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Ask the Golf Guzzler -- No. 48
Dear Guzzler: Are you in 12-step or what? You haven't added anything in months ...
A: Twelve-step? I wish. Unfortunately, some judges classify halting the Golf Guzzler as "community service." But the tether came off this morning. Welcome back!
Dear Guzzler: I love beer. I love golf. And I love my future wife, but she can't stand it when I do either of those things -- especially together!!!! Is this just a fundamental difference between the two of us that has us destined for seperate lives, or can I smooth it over to make things right? Please, this is a terrible situation -- warm weather is coming. In need of wisdom.
Dear Guzzler: I read the following in the newspaper today. A 71-year-old Illinois woman drowned on a golf course in Ft. Myers, Florida, when the cart she was driving veered off a steep slope into a pond. Would it be inappropriate to attempt to rescue the beer from the pond?
A: Yes. Once immersed in Florida pond water, it's too warm to drink.
Dear Guzzler: Do you know if there is somewhere that I can purchase Leon negra cervesa and have it sent to Iowa? Is it legal?
A: Iowa? Sure, it's legal. But why would you want to send beer there?
Dear Guzzler: I saw a story on the news a few weeks back about the PGA convention while it was here in Orlando. They interviewed a gentleman who was selling a new beer for golfers called "Duffer". Do you know where I can find that beer or how to contact the company?
A: No, but that reminds me of a joke. A man stomps into the clubhouse and heads for the bar. He looks at the bartender and growls, "Gimme a beer." He picks up the beer, downs it in one gulp and shouts to everyone in the room, "All lawyers are duffers!" A guy stands up at the end of the bar and says, "You take that back." The first guy glares back and says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?" The second guy answers, "No, I'm a duffer."
Dear Guzzler: 1977 world matchplay champion?
A: I'm sorry, you forgot to phrase it in the form of a question. Johnny Gilbert, tell him what he's won.
Dear Guzzler: What type of mass consumption of alcohol helps most in golf? Wine, beer, vodka, etc.?
A: Finally! Someone has a question the Guzz can answer. It all depends on what you mean by "help." If you mean help to improve your score, it's beer. If you mean help to forget your score, try 151 rum.